I’ve learnt that I find comfort in my books - I do not mean novels, but rather, binders - books that I have created. Books full of notes and bullshit worksheets and little nothing remarks that whoever sitting next to me thought fitting for the moment in time. ‘Soviet Russia’ and ‘Sarah Palin’ mean nothing to me now. I hesitate to believe that they ever did mean anything to me. Surely if they did, I’d have some sort of recollection of their previous meaning. These binders are the culmination of hundreds, thousands of hours of work on my behalf. I should hate them for stealing away my life. Despite this, I find comfort in my books. I heard in one of my classes that charismatic people perform thousands of microexpressions during any given conversation - that’s what makes them charismatic. I find it difficult to use microexpressions while not paying attention to the conversation. Perhaps I’m a worse person for not paying attention. I’m certainly socially inept for it. Perhaps my punishment is to forever be cursed with social awkwardness. My binders don’t seem to mind when I gaze off into my own world. My binders are associated with some of the loneliest, longest nights of my life, but also, some of the best nights of my life. Sitting alone with my thoughts has provided me some of the best companionship I could ask for. Maybe this is the root of my problem.
I chill in the walk-in
LIKE A FROZEN BEEF PATTY, WAITING TO REALIZE ITS DESTINY AS COOKED MEAT TO BE INGESTED AND SUBSEQUENTLY DIGESTED BY AN OVERWEIGHT AMERICAN STRUGGLING WITH HIS IMMINENT DIVORCE BECAUSE HE GOT MARRIED ON AN IMPULSE-DRIVEN, ALCOHOL ASSISTED, SEXUALLY CHARGED WHIM.
Things are sweeter when they’re lost. I know—because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly…And when I got it it turned to dust in my hands.
(Source: larmoyante, via lucystardust)
I am a product of long corridors, empty sunlit rooms, upstairs indoor silences, attics explored in solitude, distant noises of gurgling cisterns and pipes, and the noise of wind under the tiles. Also, of endless books.
(Source: amorette, via freedom-and-youth)
I think we are just insects, we live a bit and then die and that’s the lot. There’s no mercy in things. There’s not even a Great Beyond. There’s nothing.
(Source: freins, via lucystardust)
It’s hard to get along with people. As much as you try to like them and accept them as individuals, it becomes difficult because they keep getting out of line and wasting your time.
(Source: , via lucystardust)
What a mistake, what ridiculous prejudice it’s been to have marked happiness always with a plus sign. Absolute happiness should, of course, carry a minus sign —the divine minus.
(Source: fromtheinsight, via chaosreins)
You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.
(Source: whatokay, via quintessenceofacliche)
(via lucystardust)
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
(Source: ryandonato, via lucystardust)
You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.
(Source: wa-rm, via chaosreins)
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
(Source: inthesunshinehavingfun, via lucystardust)
Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.
(Source: soulsnottamed, via chaosreins)
(Source: chaosreins)
The Last Humanist: Voices
You know that ringing sound that you will perceive when you are in a very quiet area? Some people say this is an auditory-illusion brought about the ear’s inability to detect frequencies below the threshold of the human senses. This is completely wrong. That ringing covers up something else altogether. If you are quick, patient, and maybe a little lucky, you will be able to hear past the ringing. What you will hear are voices whispering to each other. They will silence themselves quickly but with practice, you will become more adept at catching and interpreting what they are saying. You will hear things of the past, the present, and the future. However, you must be careful. Because there is no such thing as a voice without a body.
And when you start noticing them, they will start noticing you.
I hope you’re living a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
(Source: cosasdelviento, via lucystardust)
